Me too!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize