Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
