Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize