I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
