we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
