Whoa Z and x make the same sound
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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