i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Barsexuality is the new black.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
