HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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