No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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