We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
