really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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