everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
