Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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