Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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