smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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