Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
