I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize