But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
