What did we do last night that was yellow?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize