real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
