i permit you to call me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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