Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I came so hard my ears popped.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
