I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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