I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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