That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
