God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
