Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
