wat bout pragnant strippers??
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
