MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Actions speak louder than pants.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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