i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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