Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
