I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We got so high we made milksteak
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
