FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
