is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
