dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
