There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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