Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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