Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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