i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
