Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
