So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He shit in the fireplace
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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