I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
