I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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