My pussy is not your playground.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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