It's Friday. Sex?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
