K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
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I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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