i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
