Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You don't make any sense
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