he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
