grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I FOUND THE LEGS
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
