I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
