Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
