she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
