Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
