BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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