Pants 0. Shit 1.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
