it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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