I'd wear matching sweaters with you
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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