how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
