I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize