just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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