So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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